She thinks the Pledge of Allegiance is that stuff she cleans her coffee table with

Not being one to ignore good advice, I have refrained from mentioning the "W" word here.  No, not Dubya.  This time I'm referring to (pssst: work).   Shhhhhhhhh!  I KNOW.

Let me just say:  I have this friend.  And this friend may or *may not* have had the following exchange while at a place that could easily be confused with a place of employment:

Friend:  Welcome to your first day of work here at [employment-like place.]  As required by the federal government, I will need to verify your identity via approved forms of identification.

Some Other Chick:  Sure.

Friend:  A driver's license and social security card will work just fine.

Some Other Chick:  Okay, here's my driver's license.  I can't find my social security card though.

Friend:  Okay... can you bring it tomorrow?  We need to have it right away.

Some Other Chick:  Yeah, sure thing.  I'll track it down tonight and bring it on in tomorrow.

Fast forward, two weeks later.  Still no social security card.  Corporate A central big-wig type place is barking at my friend to get the positive ID already.  Some Other Chick keeps forgetting the damn card, and now she has been MIA for a few days.  Friend decides to call her at home.

Friend:  Hey, have you found your social security card yet? 

Some Other Chick:  Oh... no, not yet.  I forgot.

Friend:  I see. Okay, well, here's the deal.  If I don't get that card, [employment-type place] can't pay you.

Some Other Chick:  But I have to get paid!  You guys have to pay me!

Friend:  Well, it's been two weeks and you keep forgetting it.  As I've explained to you a couple-three-dozen times, we haven't legally identified you so technically we can't pay you.  Do you have some other form of ID?  How about a birth certificate?

Some Other Chick:  Well, I haven't seen it in awhile, but I can look...

Friend:  NO!  Uh, I mean no, no... that's okay.  How about a passport?

Some Other Chick:  Passport?  Did you say PASSPORT?

Friend:  Yes.

Some Other Chick:  No I don't have a PASSPORT.  I am a GODDAMN US CITIZEN. 

Friend:          *Blink* 

Some Other Chick:  Hello?

Friend:  Yes.  Um, alrighty then.  I wasn't implying that you aren't a US citizen.  Plenty of US citizens have passports. 

Some Other Chick:  Well I don't.  I was BORN HERE. 

Friend:  Um, YEAH.  Okay.  So was I.  But some of us have passports.  Some US citizens travel.   You know, like OVERSEAS.  And they use their passports to do so.

Some Other Chick:  Not me!  I never travel!

Friend:  Duly noted.  I was just asking, you know, because you can't seem to locate any other acceptable forms of ID.  And like I said, without another form of ID, we will be unable to process your payroll.

Some Other Chick:  Jesus!  Well, what about one of those... what are they called?  Green Cards?  What if I got one of those? 

***

If you would like to send cards, flowers, or well-wishes to my friend, just let me know.  I can get you the address and her room number on the psych unit. 

Comments

[Thumper]

I'm sorry...I'm laughing. I feel for your friend, but that is too frickin' funny...

[Jessica]

Sorry -- apparently I'm a comment tard. I didn't realize it accepted my first one!

[Jessica]

All I have to say to that is HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I run a small lawfirm, and that shit sooooo does happen. People are just so odd. And stupid.

[Jessica]

All I have to say to that, and I run a small lawfirm, is HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA! That shit so does really happen! My God! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[shpprgrl]

What a goon! A tale of She Who Knows Nothing..... Here from Michele's!

[vanessa]

To save money on psychiatrist bills and prescriptions, I insist on getting state issued photo ID's and social security cards before processing an applications. I too have been burned.

[Jenn]

HAHA, LMFAO. So a green card and no passport. Nice!