Depression:7 Heather:8

I'm back, muthafuggas.

It was close; Depression gave me a run for my money once again.  But in the end, I emerged victorious and have mopped the floor with Depression's ass.  I'd be remiss if I didn't thank my team of antidepressants and loved-ones, without whom I would surely be bench-warming indefinitely, watching the world pass me by.

This was my seventh severe depressive episode, the second in one year.  By "episode" I mean a state in which I cannot function normally and my life becomes so adversely effected that words like "intervention" and "crisis" and "hospitalization" get thrown about like all the jeans I've gotten too fat for.  Unfortunately, for me and many others, depression is a part of life.  It's something that in chronic cases must be managed as opposed to cured.  So this is what I have attempted to do since I was a teenager.  Inevitably, the valleys crop up despite all the managing, and foundations morph into quicksand and things gets tough for a spell.  This time was no different.  I lost myself for a few months.  When that "feeling" began creeping up on me in late spring, I was caught off guard and didn't even have the chance to say, WTF??  I began falling down that slippery slope, and fought the disease and myself to crawl my way out of that deep, dark well.  (My nails are fucking trashed.)  Anyway, I won't get into the gory details except to say that it was a bitch and I lost my job and ended a friendship in the process.

I basically threw blogging out of my consciousness until the last week or two, when I started thinking about blathering on via the Internet once again.  I decided to revisit posting for, uh, it's therapeutic effect and whatnot.  My opinions are back with a vengeance and I say, why the hell not? 

So I'm back for another round.

"Fall down seven times, stand up eight." -- Japanese Proverb

Comments

[Jessica]

I understand - man, do I understand. It's not easy, and anyone who has not experienced it cannot possibly begin to understand the havoc chemical imbalance wreaks on a person's body, mind, and life.

So glad to see that you were able to stand up for the 8th time.

[nabbalicious]

Welcome back! And nice work, kicking depression's bitchy little ass.

I'm starting to get that "feeling" you talked about. I've battled it my whole life, and most of the time I can cope. I'm working really hard now to not let it become something more.

[Ash]

Welcome back,
Been there too.
Currently it's Ash 3, Depression 2.
WELCOME BACK!

[Jege]

Dorkette!!! I'm so glad you're back!

[mar]

Welcome back! I have learned about depression through blogging and I am sorry you have to deal/treat this... Wishing you a sunny day :), here via Michele's blogroll game